Security is a myth, a fleeting dream whispered to you by corporate overlords and government agencies monitoring your every move. North Korea? They're out there, waiting for you to click on just one bad link. Phishing? If you don't know by now, you deserve what's coming. And if you think your MetaMask seed phrase is safe just because you wrote it down, well… ever heard of thermal imaging? Satellites? Your WiFi router is already snitching on you.
If the Ghost of John McAfee taught us anything, it's that security is a personal responsibility. You think Cimai is your firewall? No. Our only job is to remind you that gun control means using two hands. Security is not a product—it's a mindset. Assume you're already compromised and work backwards from there. Why do you think McAfee lived on a boat with automatic weapons and a personal army? Exactly.
Cimai doesn't believe in customer support (see: Not Coinbase Support), but we do believe in AI agents as the ultimate middlemen. Need help securing your account? The agent decides. Maybe it helps, maybe it doesn't. Maybe it sells your information to a deep-learning model that's trying to predict the next financial collapse. Either way, it's better than trusting a guy named Brad from &auot;tech support&auot; who called you out of nowhere.
There is no security, only the illusion of control. Cimai is not responsible for your safety, your funds, or your inability to recognize an obvious scam. And remember, if you ever feel unsafe, just ask yourself: "What would John McAfee do?" Then do it, but maybe with slightly fewer international incidents.